The Art of Calumny
Session Twenty-Three of the Game of Souls Campaign

Temperance, 24 Carnivale 2000

The party survey the village before them - all except Carith who tried a bit of the raw fish and is gripped with intense intestinal pain, as well as some particularly interesting hallucinations. She simultaneously tortured and entertained, as she writhes in the back of the wagon screaming and laughing in equal measure.

The party members in charge of their faculties are faced with a large wooden stockade that extends to their left and right. It is built upon foundations of stone not common to this area. The only way in appears to be through two large wooden gates that open in the stockade wall. These are just large enough to admit the party's wagon.

The signs of battle are everywhere. The wood has been battered and scorched by magic and more mundane assaults. Much of it is blackened, and it seems rather fragile. There are holes in part of the stockade that have been inexpertly repaired with crooked pieces of wood. A little way to the left is a large crater that seems to have been caused by a magical explosion of some kind. Sticking out of it is a half-cooked, half-rotting leg cut off at the knee but still six-feet in height. A giant fell here?

As Revda advances toward the door to call for the inhabitants, Clara slides into the ethereal plane. Immediately the real world becomes blurry and indistinct. Alert for danger she moves toward the village and notices something quite remarkable. There is an impenetrable dome over the village, utterly invisible in the Great Dark. It seems to be a barrier designed to keep out ethereal attacks. Just on the outside of this dome, stark against the misty plain, are a heap of bodies.

On closer investigation, Clara realises that they are goblinoids of some kind - probably hobgoblins given their size. All have been killed by a creature all too familiar to Clara: an ethereal marauder. She recognises the bite marks. The marauder has fed on some of the bodies, but most were too riddled with taint to have been palatable.

At the gates, Lord Revda calls for attention. After a pause a human voice calls down enquiring politely who they are and what they want. Revda says they are travellers and they wish to speak to the ruler of the town. The voice bids them wait, and there is the sound of scampering, falling and scampering again as he races off into the town. Jirokichi sneaks up to the door and tries to listen to what is going on. It sounds as though there are a lot of people in the town, and that they have all come out of their houses to see what the commotion is. They also seem confused as to who they should send to the gate. Eventually, Jirokichi can hear someone approaching.

A grate on the gate is drawn back and a middle-aged man (who introduces himself as Geoffrey) salutes Revda. Revda and the Scribe explain the purpose of their journey and ask if the village has seen any evidence of the black snow that Lord Drennan mentioned. Geoffrey says that they have not, and confesses that he isn't really up on such matters. However, he is certain that Miccaburra could help. Miccaburra? Who is Miccaburra?

Geoffrey jumps at the invitation to extol the virtues of their wonderful ruler and protector, the fabulous Miccaburra. Miccaburra is a powerful wizard who founded the village and defends them against all nasty stuff that apparently exists on the other side of the wall. Unfortunately Miccaburra is not in town at the moment, but Geoffrey is convinced that he will be back soon. Revda asks who is in charge in Miccaburra's absence. Geoffrey seems confused at first, but then says they should probably talk to Grailheart. Grailheart is the oldest of them. Revda suggests that the party be allowed to enter.

It is now that Geoffrey seems a little unsure. Revda gives his word as a knight that he means no harm. Before Geoffrey can make up his mind, the party can hear the running of feet. A second person now stands next to Geoffrey, although he is too short to be seen through the grate. When he speaks it is with the voice of a boy barely into adolescence. The boy insists that they let the party in. "I am Miccaburra's Chief Proselytiser," says the boy, "it's what he would have wanted."

The boy tries to draw back the heavy bolts holding the door closed. He asks for help because he is so weak and feeble. Slowly the doors begin to open. In the ethereal plane, Clara can see a doorway opening in the barrier that defends against ethereal creatures. As the doors open, the party see the inside of the village for the first time.

Around the gates is a knot of several hundred people, all human and none appear tainted. They are looking with anticipation and polite interest at the party. The stockade encloses an area of approximately a quarter of a mile across. Inside are dozens of dwellings, or varying sizes all made of wood over stone foundations, topped with thatch. Other larger buildings could be stores or meeting houses. There are two sites that immediately draw the eye.

In the centre of the village, directly opposite the gates is what can only be described as a large, round patio. It is approximately thirty feet across and surrounded by a ring of stone benches. Is this a meeting place? A theatre? Some distance to their right is a building that seems to defy the laws of nature. A square stone box with gabled roof, with a second structure of equal size tacked onto the first at the top of the east wall. It hangs suspended in space with no visible means of support. A smaller structure, possibly a passageway, comes off this and leads to a gravity-defying tower. Miccaburra's dwelling?

"Welcome to the village of Garravel," says the young boy who opened the gates. He is revealed to be a gangly youth of about fourteen seasons with a mass of untidy red hair, and a prodigious collection of freckles. He introduces himself as Keopps, and gives his title again: Chief Proselytiser of Miccaburra.

The doors creak as they open. They are damaged. There is no upper hinge on the left hand door, so the bottom corner drags noisily along the ground. The Scribe, anxious to flex his carepenting muscles, offers to fix if for them. They are grateful.

As they enter, Lycaon drops the invisibility on the undead horses. He can't keep it up indefinitely. Jirokichi also appears. None of this phases the people in the slightest; neither does the presence of the death knight, Gazahi or the skeletal Scribe. In fact as the party enters the crowd presses in toward them to get a good look at the newcomers. There are polite greetings of welcome and much waving and shaking of hands. This is odd behaviour in most lands and utterly unheard of in the Great Dark. The party realise why this is the case: there is no fear hear. Perhaps the villages have never had any reason to fear.

Then Lycaon appears. He takes his giant blue goblin form. This causes the crowd to draw back. The Scribe asks why and ma random villager called Eustace reveals that they have recently been attacked by a bunch of goblins. They apologise to Lycaon for the reaction. The party turn to the boy who seems to have his head screwed on more than the others.

Keopps says that the village was attacked about six weeks ago by the hobgoblin warlord Vrekk and his army. Vrekk lives not far from here, in the caves and tunnels beneath the hills a few miles distant. He covets this village and wants to "add it to his dominions and force us all to work in his evil mines". Keopps seems deadly serious about this, as do the other villagers. Revda didn't know that evil could be mined.

Revda looks at the wooden stockade. It doesn't look as though it would hold back a flock of enraged canaries. Those party members that can look to the weave, and the walls of the stockade light up with a succession of complicated magical runes and symbols. All the villagers are also marked by these symbols. This is powerful protective magic. It seems that Miccaburra (whoever he is) takes his responsibilities seriously.

Yet, even with these defences how did they fight? The village subsists on foraging and hunting in the forest and fishing from the stream that runs a hundred feet from the front gate. You have to cook the fish really well, Keopps points out, as otherwise they act as a poisonous hallucinogen. Carith writhes in the back of the wagon. Jirokichi belches raucously. The point is that the villagers are not fighters - quite the opposite in actual fact.

It seems that most of the fighting was left to "Ron". Some further questions reveal that Ron was indeed a giant, and that he met an ignoble end at the hands of hobgoblins spears and shaman. Keopps suspects that most of him was taken away to be eaten. Being reminded of Ron's death causes a wave of sadness to fall on the villagers. "He was such a sweetie," says one woman called Annora crying into the Scribe's robes.

Handing Carith over to the friendly Beatrice to be given the best care and a warm bed the party allow Geoffrey and Keopps to show them across the village to Grailheart's house. Keopps doesn't think Grailheart is worth talking to, and it seems evident that he doesn't share the hope that Miccaburra will ever return to the village.

Walking across the village they notice a paddock behind Miccaburra's impossible house. It is a stone-skinned wild hog that stands about eight feet at the shoulder. The Scribe can identify it as a 'half-earth elemental dire boar', but to Keopps and the rest of the village it is simply "Slops" - another of Miccaburra's gifts. They ask Keopps what else is in the village besides Slops and Ron. Keopps says that there was an ethereal marauder, but since Miccaburra departed it has probably left to do its own thing. Then there's Nelson - he's in Miccaburra's house, but he is only half finished. Half finished? A golem? Keopps nods.

As they cross the patio area, the Scribe stops to examine the stone. There is a faint transmutation magic about them. The patio is made of truly ancient pieces of stone that were worked into shape hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years ago. These stones have since been reworked, within the last century, in the disc on which the Scribe currently stands. The benches too have the same origins. They were all once something else. The stone is certainly not native of this terrain.

At the far side of the village, next to the sauna (the only luxury from his homeland Miccaburra missed) is Grailheart's residence. The party enter. Grailheart is an undead creature, who apparently used to be a vampire before Miccaburra cured him. How he is a toothless, benign and arthritic old creature with a gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be. Like the rest of the village, Grailheart has protective magic cast upon him. And also like the rest of the village, Grailheart holds Miccaburra on a high pedestal.

Grailheart speaks extremely slowly, as if he is having to remember how to speak at all between each word. Frustrated from having to listen to him, Keopps throws up his arms and walks out. Lycaon follows. Keopps is extremely annoyed that the rest of the village cannot accept the fact what Miccaburra isn't returning. How can Keopps be so sure? Keopps tells Lycaon the story of Miccaburra.

Miccaburra came from the land of the Chulyuk Kayet, far to the north (although still in the southern world). He came to the Great Dark to "get away from it all", and arrived in this area when Keopps's grandfather was a boy. Miccaburra took the people under his wing, protected them. He brought the stone in and created the village, he warded it and protected the people who lived here. So has it been ever since.

But Miccaburra is old, and Keopps believed that the Great Dark has finally taken its toll upon him. The taint has seeped into Miccaburra. In short he is loony. Nutso. One sandwich short of a picnic. One hundred percent bonkeroony. No-one knew Miccaburra better than Keopps. His role as Chief Proselytiser was to spend as much time as possible in Miccaburra's presence, simply babbling.

Every night, Keopps and other proselytisers were employed to stand in Miccaburra's bed room and chat. The noise of their voices helped to drown out the other voices that only Miccaburra could hear, and thus their benefactor could get some sleep. However, eventually the voices got the better of him. One night, three months ago, Miccaburra leapt out of bed in the middle of the night and called everyone in the village to the stone circle. He tried to arrange everyone in order of darkening skin pigmentation, and when he couldn't manage that he yelled "This is the end! The end!", French-kissed Slops and then jumped over the village wall and disappeared into the woodland. Oh, and he was stark naked while he did all this.

Lycaon can scarcely believe his ears, but he lets the lad continue. "And then Warlord Vrekk came," says Keopps, "and the village is defenceless without Miccaburra." It is a leading statement and Lycaon can feel what is coming next. Will the party stay and help the village? Will they save them from the evil Warlord Vrekk and stop them from being sent to his mines of evil?

The barghest observes the resources of the village. How many hobgoblins are they facing? Keopps thinks a thousand (or at the very least, many). What about Miccaburra's house? Can Keopps get into it? Keopps says that he can, he has a key and he was been cleaning it. If Miccaburra was as powerful a spellcaster as he appears to have been, then his house could hold some very useful secrets.

Inside Grailheart's home, the conversation is moving very slowly. Grailheart has shown the party an oil painting of Miccaburra by Miccaburra. It is from his experimental period and has a certain Dali-esque quality about it. Miccaburra has black skin as dark as ebony. He also has melting clocks for ears, so they doubt the veracity of the image. Grailheart maintains that Miccaburra was a great artist

Lycaon motions to the party, and they are happy to leave the droningly dull Grailheart. Lycaon tells the party about Keopps request (and his offer) and that he has just gone to fetch the keys to Miccaburra's house. Perhaps surprisingly, the party decide to stay and help defend the village. It is Revda's opinion that this village is doomed. Even if they do stop Vrekk, the next warlord or passing monster will destroy everything. Without Miccaburra or someone else to protect them, the death knell has already been sounded on Garravel.

However, the party need something to protect them from the Blight. If they stay here and wait until the Blight passes over them, they will have shelter and protection from it. They just need to make sure that the village continues to stand until that happens. Soon Keopps returns and then he leads them to Miccaburra's impossible house.

After unlocking some of the magical defences by way of a secret key-hole, Keopps leads the party into a plush entrance hall. Fires burst into life in grate and on the torches that hang on sconces around the walls. The lower floor is plush and well carpeted. It sports a comfortable sitting room, and a conference room where Miccaburra discussed important matters with Grailheart or with Geoffrey.

There is nothing magical here, but there is ample evidence of Miccaburra's deep artistic street. Painting in oils and chalk dot the walls. Sculptures sit on the table. Against one wall is a puppet show, and Keopps recounts how Miccaburra entertained the village with his skilful puppetry and improv-theatre.

Upstairs are three bedrooms. One for Miccaburra and two guest rooms that Keopps says have never been used to his knowledge. There are elegant four-poster beds, and the wardrobes are filled with exquisite clothes. Jirokichi asks if he can sleep here tonight. Keopps says no. On the landing is a passageway leading into the impossible portion of the house. Keopps explains that this leads to Miccaburra's laboratory: the party rub their hands together in anticipation.

Although the same size as the previous building this structure sports only one room. It is thirty feet to a side and over twenty feet in height, with the only windows at least ten feet from the floor. In the centre of the room is a reinforced table, on which lies an iron golem. The construct is not finished, as it has no legs. These are propped up in the corner. "Hi Nelson!" yells Keopps. The golem raises one arm in gesture of greeting.

The rest of the room is strewn with work benches, shelves and bottles all of which point to dark and arcane practices. Along the far wall is a long table that was home to a magical experiment of some sort. Magical fires are still burning and the glass cups and test tubes and pipettes and shattered under the continuous heat. Whatever was being heated has coalesced and come together into a cloud of dense red vapour that seems stuck to the ceiling, to a depth of about two feet. The Scribe conjures an unseen servant to take a glass jar up into the cloud and collect some of the red substance. The summoned creature and the jar disappear, and do not emerge.

Lycaon's keen ears pick up a rhythmic tapping coming from below the desk. He discovers a cage. It is filled with dead bees, each one about the size of his fist. One bee is still alive. It is standing on its hind legs and tap dancing manically, repeating the same seven steps over and over again. The 'tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-TAP-TAP' quickly becomes annoying. Lycaon takes the bee out and watches it dance on his hand. He throws it into the red mist. It doesn't fall out.

Puzzled, Revda takes a chair and pokes the red mist with it. The mist takes hold of the chair and begins to descend until completely envelopes Revda. He can see nothing but red, and the mist cannot be dispelled. On top of all this, Revda has a small bee tap dancing desperately on his shoulder. "I am in hell," announces the Death Knight.

The party try numerous inventive means to get Revda out of his predicament, which leads to the death knight getting cosy with a succession of summoned creatures. Eventually, the Scribe creates gallons of water in an attempt to wash the cloud away. The water enters the cloud and does not emerge. The Scribe has a thought. He summons more and more water, hoping to saturate and burst the cloud. Revda is taken outside for this experiment. Inside the cloud Revda is slowly being crushed by the water pressure, and the bee has long since expired.

After the Scribe has added two hundred gallons of water to the cloud it bursts. Revda stands calmly as he watches the Scribe and various other members of the party surfing off through the village on a wave of water. Revda feels his credibility may have suffered a fatal dent.

This distraction out of the way, the party resume their search of Miccaburra's home. To the Scribe's dismay Miccaburra was not a person given to writing things down. According to Keopps he saw little value in books, preferring to express himself in art. This indicates that Miccaburra was not a wizard, but some other arcane caster. The only book they find is a Manual of Creating Iron Golems. It is a magical tome. All the spells are exhausted from it bar one. The Scribe believes that he will be able finish the task and animate the golem. But the Geas spell has already been cast from the book. The Scribe wouldn't be able to give it any instructions, it would follow whatever orders it had already had.

Then they search the tower room. This was Miccaburra's study. It is strewn with papers, all of them containing sketches. The party find various pieces of work. With each successive piece of parchment they pick up, more and more questions spring to their minds. This is the full list of sketches that the Scribe binds into a leather folder and places Jirokichi's magic bag:

The first is a picture of a rat covered in blood with knives in both hands. The legend says "Gazoo'Hai. Hired killer and general nasty piece of work."

The second is a chalk sketch of a small hunched man with a blank face in heavy robes. The legend: "Sova".

The third is a lithe winged man in silhouette, flying through the air. Beneath the drawing it reads: "Alarius of the Broken Mind"

Four is a knight in black armour. "Kieron Revda. Death Knight". Kieron?

Fifth is another skeleton, but this one is surrounded by books surrounded by books. Underneath it reads: "The Scroob of Tam. Scroob? What's a Scroob? Better ask Tam."

The sixth page sports a number of complicated line drawings. There is a drawing of Here Miccaburra has drawn a rat, crossed it out and drawn a dragon, crossed it out and drawn a lizard and then crossed that out that saying: "Too weird; obviously losing my touch, Muriel."

The seventh is a picture of a ferocious beast eating a little boy. "Lycaon, alas" is the legend here.

The eighth is a picture of a hitherto unseen reptilian figure with broken feathered wings. "Dear Grexam. Must remember birthday this year." The name is familiar to the Scribe, but he can't quite remember where he heard it.

The ninth is an imposing drow rendered in orange crayon. It has seventeen heads upon his neck and then more heads down each of its four arms. "Got carried away," writes Miccaburra. "This one's dead any way."

The tenth through twenty-ninth are a series of pictures of a beautiful elven girl in a series of provocative poses. In one charcoal masterpiece she is wearing a bikini and lying alluring on a beach, in another she is lying naked face down on a bed and beckoning the viewing. In another same elf is enjoying the embrace of a well-muscled man with ebony skin. The collection of soft porn seems inexhaustible, and every page has "Clara Clara Clara" written off over them.

The thirtieth is a picture of sceptre topped with a skull that is burning in green fire.

The thirty-first is a whimsical picture of a skeleton wearing a straw boater and juggling lemons.

The thirty-second is a picture of the Mourngrim family crest, but without the ring of faceless angels. It is just the large dog and the serpent, symbolising the union of the Mounrgrim and Archaelon lines.

The thirty-third is the Mourngrim crest again, but this time with the familiar ring of faceless angels. Underneath this Miccaburra has written: "That Mírosh always the joker! Oh, what will Tam say!"

The thirty-fourth is suddenly disturbing. It is an oil painting of Miccaburra himself, with his arm around none other than Rufus Bar of Tableania! "Not my type" is written underneath.

The thirty-fifth is a companion piece - another water colour, this time of the other man they met in Irongate. "The jealous type" is written on this one.

The thirty-sixth is a piece of thick vellum onto which a large blob of wax has been dropped. It seems to have set in a shape that could be interpreted as a large beholder. "Now, no-one was expecting that!" Miccaburra has written.

The thirty-seventh is a cartoon of Miccaburra using a large fish like a sack in a sack race (he's standing in it). There's a duck holding each of his ears in its beak and trying to fly. The legend reads: "Time to go Nanny!"

Finally, the thirty-ninth is a picture of two shining gates surrounded by clouds. The gates are secured by a heavy chain and a sign that says "Closed for remodelling" hangs on them.

How did Miccaburra know of the party? Was it some sort of lunatic insight granted only to madmen? And what of the pictures they can't identify? And what is his connection with Rufus Bar of Tableania? The party is now convinced that the two characters they met in that bar in Irongate were indeed the angels Genis and Loki that were associated with the crown Alarius's grandmother left for them. But what is their motivation in all this? Inspired by Miccaburra's insanity-fuelled doodlings, Gazahi collects a handful of parchment and heads off to create his own portfolio.

The discussions do not lead to any answers. Therefore, the Scribe decides to do something practical. Using his skills and cheating with magic, he spends the rest of the afternoon attaching the legs to the iron golem. Then he opens the magic manual and casts the last spell (limited wish) even though it is beyond his usual powers. The spell works, the manual disappears in a flash of light and Nelson the Iron Golem sits up from the table in the laboratory.

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