Mid-West Campaign
Session Ninety-Two

Sunday, 2 September 2001

It's one of those days again. Artemis Black wakes up in his old house in Wichita. This isn't Quantico! WTF? Jane Munroe climbs out of bed in the female dormitory at the Wichita HQ. This isn't her home! WTF? Nathan Harlow awakes in his old Wichita apartment. He got rid of all that pornography! WTF? Alex Drake opens the curtains in a Wichita motel. This isn't the south of France! WTF?

Artemis telephones his Quantico office at 7:00am and leaves a message for Fit Harlow. Did he have an appointment in Wichita today that he can't remember? But as he walks downstairs, he realises that something is very wrong. Joe McPike should be living in this house now. And where is that vast oil painting of himself that he commissioned with some of the proceeds of Victim Schmictim? He telephones Jane.

Jane is currently hiding under her duvet at the Wichita HQ. She has been into the outer office and she didn't like what she saw. There is no insanely expensive coffee machine, no picture of Artemis and no Blackcave! This disturbs Artemis. What is going on here? Time travel?

Nathan Harlow is thinking much the same thing and boots up his computer to check the date. But the date says that it is the 2 September 2001. The day that it should be. Today was the day that Dominic was intending to head to Los Angeles and look into the abandoned gift house. What's going on?

Jane confirms the date to Artemis. Black says that he will drive to the Wichita HQ. Given the lack of a decent coffee machine (an earth-shattering horror in itself), Artemis says that he will stop for coffee on the way. Meanwhile, Alex Drake decides to come into the local HQ as well.

Jane is sitting at HQ waiting for Artemis when in walks Joshua Blackthorne! Josh is still Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the unit. He greets Jane as if nothing unusual is going on. In the real world Josh had to retire on medical grounds and is now works as a special advisor. Jane is completely confused. The entire of reality seems to have been utterly rewritten. And Josh has a sinister beard.

Artemis arrives. "Oh, Artemis," says Blackthorne smugly, and make a crack about Artemis being the team's tea boy. The two great egos clash, but Artemis discovers that things are very different today. In this reality, he is not successful! Victim Schmictim never took off, in fact he was ridiculed because of it. Here it is Joshua Blackthorne who has had the success of writing and selling his own book. It's Joshua Blackthorne who is celebrated, and Artemis who is the bitter quack. And it is Artemis who has the dire rectal problems (as can be evidenced by a tube of Anasol in his pocket). And it is Josh, not Artemis, who is building a house in Winterset.

Jane finds this turn of events utterly hilarious. Artemis does not. He starts to go through all the old casefiles. The team never investigated the Joker killings - in fact, there were no Joker killings. The west coast team never died. Many other cases seemed to pan out as Artemis remembers, but there is no one connecting the dots of the big picture. They don't know who Georgeson really is and, although they have come across the brain bugs, the frigate hasn't been destroyed. There is no record of any time door. Apache Joe is still on the loose.

The last item makes Jane think that perhaps this new reality is not better than the real world. She asks Josh how many people there are on the team. He seems very concerned about his agents who are acting in a very peculiar fashion. He says that the team is made up of five agents and then he names them. Jane telephones Nathan Harlow.

Nathan is at his computer, deleting as much porn as he can in accordance with his new life ethic. Jane tells him as much as she knows, and Nathan is relieved that he is not going mad. He says that he will come to HQ as soon as he can.

Alex Drake is rather alarmed. The car he bought in Winterset is not with him. The warranty that Raphael wished into being should traverse any obstacle. The fact that it isn't here points to something more than time travel going on. Artemis wonders if rather than their reality rewritten, the agents are actually in a parallel reality? Or is this actually just some sort of illusion, like the one that Ghede put Artemis through a few months ago? The fact that Drake's car isn't here may point to the latter being the case.

Jane telephones the West Coast HQ and speaks to Schult. If there has been any temporal changes, he should know about it. Of course, in this reality Jane and Schult have never met so the conversation is somewhat strained. Schult puts Jane over to Alan Hamblin III who is on retainer at the west coast HQ. Hamblin doesn't seem to know about anything Jane is talking about, and doesn't seem to have any knowledge of time travel either. Perplexing.

Nathan Harlow arrives, and Josh takes him into his office to take him to task about being so late. However, once in private Josh asks if Nathan is all right. Nathan is very confused and mentions dying several times to Josh. This alarms Josh who tells him that he has never died, although he came close once or twice.

Artemis, Jane, Nathan and Alex adjourn to the stationary cupboard. This makes Josh even more suspicious. Artemis thinks this is all Joshua's doing. He has always been jealous of Artemis's success, and somehow he has rewritten reality to make him the top dog. He must have made a deal with someone. But with who? The only person who could change reality on this scale would be Samael.

Jane thinks that this reality is actually better than their own. She has done some checking. Apache might still be active, but he has only killed twelve people and his killings have been separated by much wider gaps. Kirsty Faber is still alive! Crondheim is still on the case, and it was never passed on to Vitrano and Lavin. Using what the agents know, they can help Crondheim solve it in days. Plus, there is a very expensive engagement ring on Jane's finger. Todd O'Connell is working with Crondheim's team. It seems that she and Michael Levin are engaged to be married, and have been for two months. In this reality Danni lost the baby when she was beaten up by her ex-husband, but now she is living at home with her parents. Jane's mother is not in a sanatorium.

Artemis Black does not think this reality is better; and neither does Drake (largely based on the absence of his car). Harlow is undecided. He never died here, and that has to be a plus. At this point an increasingly suspicious Josh comes into the stationary cupboard and asked the agents to attend this morning's missing briefing.

Josh thinks they all seem slightly mad, and warns them that their psychological reviews are coming up. Jane is already in hot water after she punched Artemis in the face and knocked out one of his teeth. Jane doesn't remember doing that, so Josh shows them all the CCTV footage (that Harlow has made into a screen saver). This is a treat normally reserved for Christmas.

Eventually they have the briefing, although the enthusiasm of the other agents is not great. Josh wants to open case WHTF003. He is surprised that the other agents seem to know more about it than he does. His plan is to send the four agents to Whitefish. Jane and Alex are to travel first class and ask around the town. Black and Harlow are to travel coach class, disguised as hillbillies. They will wander the wilderness until one of them gets abducted. It seems that Josh's hatred for Black transcends reality.

What is Blackthorne to be doing during this time? Well, he has a book-signing here in Wichita. His new book, Theories of a Modern Mind, is #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. He lifts one from the coffee table. The cover is a picture of Artemis Black with the word "MAD" and an arrow pointing to his head. It is a stock photo used for the Artemis Black Rectal Foundation, that Josh supports financially. Jane is overcome with mirth.

The four agents head to the car park and get into one of the sedans. Black is not in a good mood. Jane says that the easiest way to get to the bottom of what is happening would be to talk to Marc Georgeson. She says that they should ignore the case and head to Winterset. A lively discussion ensues. Jane doesn't think they should try and change the reality, because everything is so much better. Black argues that it isn't better. No links have been laid to stop the brain bug invasion. If anything this world is in greater peril without him to see it right. Also Theories of a Modern Mind is no title for a bestseller: Theories Schmeories - now that would be a title!

Drake has discovered a key in his pocket. The fob is marked "FORD", but there is no indication of the related car. This is the sort of mystery that he wants to track down. The agents head to the airport. In the airport car park is a massive red and chrome monster trunk, that flashes when Drake presses the button on his key fob. Where-ever they wind up going, Drake wants to drive there!

Artemis telephones Marc Georgeson to try and get an appointment. However, because Artemis is so little known and publicly derided he doesn't even get past the butler. Jane tries a more direct approach, but is also rebuffed. Artemis feels there is no choice but to head to Whitefish and do the case, so the agents catch the plane and head north. On the plane, Artemis muses that Valerie Hudson might be able to help them if they can get access to her.

On arrival in Montana, the agents set about recreating as much of Benedict's little bag of tricks that they can. However, they do not have the purchasing power they once did on the company credit card so some items fall by the wayside. Between them, Drake and Harlow create tracking devices that are given to all the agents just in case they are abducted in the woodland. They then buy some walkie-talkies and rent a couple of 4-by-4s and head off.

Drake and Jane drive into town to meet with the local sheriff. Artemis and Nathan go out toward a near-by ski-lodge (that looks like a giant chalet). The driving conditions are treacherous, with icy roads and heavy sleet. It is en route to the sheriff's that Jane has a thought and telephones the others.

This is ridiculous. Why are they doing this case and not getting to the bottom of things? Artemis thinks that all this revolves around Josh, then they should be checking out Josh. Jane doesn't think that Josh would do anything to harm them. It may be possible that he doesn't know what is going on. But why is he remaining behind in Wichita? It doesn't seem like him. Is there some link with Veronica Cunningham? All the questions they have can only be answered in Wichita. Artemis realises the mistake. The agents abandon the case without starting it and return to Kansas.

After doing some checking, Blackthorne's book signing was between 2pm and 4pm at a local Wichita store. By the time the agents arrive back in the city, it is 6pm and Joshua has returned to the office. While Artemis and Alex stake out the HQ (waiting for Josh to leave so they can search his office), Jane and Nathan go to search Josh's house.

They soon arrives at the house that Jane remembers Joss living in. They knock and determine that no-one is home. Nathan deactivates the burglar alarm and picks the lock on the back door. The two agents cautiously enter. A cursory investigation shows that Josh doesn't live here any more. The residents are the Finkelstein family. The pair cautiously leave, Harlow relocks and the door and resets the alarm. It is as if they were never there.

At 6:30pm, Joshua leave the Wichita HQ. Artemis phones Jane and gets her and Nathan to follow Josh to where he lives now. Meanwhile he and Alex go in and search Josh's office. What they find is most disturbing: four death certificates. All are dated during the last week, and all of them underwritten by Dr Emma Halborough. In chronological order the certificates are for Jane Munroe (strangled and scalped), Alex Drake (crushed in a freak steamroller accident), Nathan Harlow (shotgun blast to the stomach) and Artemis Black (shot, stabbed, punched, tortured).

If the death certificates had no date it might indicate that Josh was planning to murder them, but what can this mean? They search for any other evidence, but find none. Blackthorne was a technophobe. If he wrote anything down it would be in his journal and that will be with him. They need to steal it from his home, before Josh goes to Whitefish tomorrow.

Nathan and Jane successfully trail Blackthorne to a very swish and modern apartment block. They are sitting in the car outside when Jane's phone rings: it is her fiancé Michael Levin. It is their two month anniversary (since he proposed) and he is cooking a very special meal. He asks Jane to pick up a couple of fillet steaks. Jane doesn't know how to react, and makes Michael rather suspicious by asking him where they live. As it turns out they live in the same apartment block as Josh (Michael was instrumental in getting Josh a lease in such an exclusive area). Jane can see Michael waving from the window. Jane finds herself agreeing to dinner.

Jane phones Alex and asks him to pick up some steaks. Artemis intercepts the call. After she explains that she lives in the same apartment as Josh and can let everyone in, Artemis says he'll buy the steaks, and allows him an evening with Michael. Artemis and Alex stop at the butchers, and Artemis selects the best possible steaks. He delivers them to Jane. They ascertain which apartment is Josh's and Jane gives Artemis her key. Artemis, Nathan and Alex then go to dinner to wait until Josh goes to sleep. Jane heads up to her own apartment.

There is romantic music coming from the apartment, and as Jane opens the door Michael rushes out and embraces her. Jane is somewhat overwhelmed. Michael has the easy manners that come of being in a stable relationship, but Jane isn't in this relationship: at least, not that she remembers. The apartment is also completely unfamiliar to her. She begins to freak out.

The apartment is enormous: two three-storey apartments knocked together into one. The place speaks of Michael's money, but she can also see her tat scattered around the place. She starts to explore and gets as far as the gym when Michael intercepts her and takes her up to dinner. Jane has never felt more awkward in her life. It is as though she is living through her own future and it is rather disturbing.

As they talk over dinner, Michael eventually realises that this isn't Jane - or at least, it isn't his Jane. Michael is used to dealing with possessed people and pulls a gun. Jane says that this isn't necessary. She proceeds to tell him everything. She knows such detail about the operations of the department of agriculture (she warns him about Jenson Kant), as well as the Signai and presence of the brain bug frigate that Levin becomes convinced that Jane is telling the truth.

Meanwhile, Artemis reveals the death certificates to the other two agents. They will be able to find out more when they search Josh's apartment. They plan to go back at 2:00am and see what they can discover.

Monday, 3 September 2000

After making sure the lights are off and waiting the requisite time, Nathan and Artemis creep toward Josh's apartment. Drake remains outside in the car, watching for trouble. The alarm is not activated, and the pair creep in with the practiced grace of a high-priced assassin. Joshua Blackthorne continues to sleep as they ransack his house.

Artemis tells Harlow to check the bedroom, while he looks in the study. Artemis agrees that Nathan can use lethal force if Blackthorne wakes up. He is probably joking. Probably.

Artemis enters Joss's study and looks for the journal. He comes across a heavily annotated manuscript lying on the desk. This is a pre-publication copy of Joss's despised Theories of a Modern Mind. Against his better judgement, Artemis starts to read it. Initially he scoffs at the archaic language and under-sensationalised turns of phrase. But grudgingly he realises that this is a truly brilliant piece of work. Obviously, he must have somehow written it.

Nathan creeps into Joshua's bedroom and sees the agent asleep in his bed. He immediately spots the corner of the journal, sticking out from under Josh's pillow. Nathan silently curses. However, displaying an unusual amount of dexterity for so large a man, Harlow carefully slips the book from under the pillow. Standing over Josh's sleeping form, he casually flips through the pages. That is when everything starts to go wrong.

There is something magical amount the book. Suddenly, Nathan feels his mind completely overwhelmed by memories he never had. He remembers living through this reality. He remembers being shot in the stomach just like the death certificate said. He remembers everything from this reality and the previous reality! It is all too much for his tiny mind!

Joshua wakes up and turns the light on. "Nathan no!" he cries. Joshua used his incredibly psychology skills to calm Nathan down. He gets him to sit on the bed. Joshua tries to explain that whatever he read didn't really happen, and that everything is okay. Nathan is extremely confused. Suddenly, the door bursts open. Artemis Black enters and casually tosses the death certificates onto the bed. "Blackthorne! You've got some explaining to do!" he declares.

Outside, Drake sees the light go on. He immediately phones Jane who is still up and talking with Michael. He tells her that something has gone wrong. Jane buzzes Drake into the building and hurries downstairs to Joshua's apartment. Levin follows her. When they arrive, Black is in full flow.

"You've always been jealous of my success!" he cries at Josh. The pair are arguing like a couple of fishwives. Jane tries to calm things down, but the animosity between the two is almost palpable. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be! I expected to return you to life, I didn't expect you to be pissy or irrational about it!"

The truth hits Artemis Black before it hits anyone else. This isn't about time travel and it isn't about an illusion or a deal with the devil. The death certificates are real. He and Jane and Alex and Nathan did die, and Joshua tried to bring them back. But he didn't resurrect anyone, instead he dragged the four agents from another reality into another.

Artemis turns on Blackthorne, calling him incompetent. He brandishes the death certificates and tells Josh the truth of what happened. Jane realises too late what this means. Artemis has just announced that this reality's Jane - the Jane that Levin is engaged to - is dead. Michael slumps back against the wall in shock.

"Don't worry," she says, "death doesn't have to be forever." Artemis slaps his face, she's at it again. Drake tells Levin about the public library where there's a book on necromancy that can raise the dead. It is all becoming too much to take in. Michael proposes that everyone meet up at the Wichita HQ in the morning where everything can be sorted. Artemis demands that Josh then send the four of them back where they came from.

Jane spends the rest of the night in the apartment with Michael. He is in a state of shock and she does her best to comfort him. They drive to the Wichita HQ in the morning. It is an awkward journey, he cannot get over how alike she is to his Jane.

At headquarters, the four agents tell Michael and Blackthorne everything that they have found out that the agents of this reality did not. Artemis is excessively smug. They also suggest solid replacements for the dead agents. Joshua is told that Artemis is Deputy Director in our reality and has been tipped for the presidency. He spontaneously develops rectal trouble. Artemis's work here is done.

A disgruntled Joshua tears up a page from his journal and Artemis returns back to the true reality. With Artemis gone, Jane softens the blow by saying that Josh was a much better boss than Artemis. Next to go is Drake; then Harlow (holding a photo of Josh and the team from this reality's wall of weird). Then it is Jane's turn. She hugs Michael and tries to give him back the engagement ring. He tells her to keep it. Josh tears a page from his book and the agents put this entire bizarre episode behind them.

Sunday, 2 September 2001

Jane wakes up to the sound of a squawking baby. She has returned. She is still wearing the engagement ring. Alex Drake awakes back in the south of France. He still has the fob of the monster truck, and wonders if it too made the journey between realities. Harlow is also back, with the photo from a wall of weird from another reality. In Quantico, Artemis Black is back, and it feels good.

Black is still holding the manuscript of Joss's book, Theories of a Modern Mind. It is unpublished in this reality. Artemis looks at it. A bit of rewording here and there and he has his next best seller. The thought of what that will do to Joss makes him smile. It'll need a better title of course: Mind Schmind!

The agents telephone each other to confirm the reality of what happened to them, and to check everyone is okay. Artemis flatly denies that he brought anything back with him from the other reality. After the phone conversation he sits back with a large cigar and reflects over a Joshua Blackthorne that had a taste of what it means to be Artemis Black. "Even at his most successful, he wasn't as successful as me!"

Mid-West Campaign Index | Previous Session | Next Session