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Hell, October 13, 2000
Esteemed Mortal,
They have never caught me and they never will. They have
never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether that
surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit
and a fell demon from the hottest hell. I am what you FBI
and your foolish police call the Joker.
When I see fit, I shall come again and claim other victims.
I alone know who they shall be. I shall leave no clue except
my card, besmeared with the essence of him whom I have sent
below to keep me company.
If you wish you may tell the police not to rile me. Of course
I am a reasonable spirit. I take no offence at the way they
have conducted their investigation in the past. In fact, they
have been so utterly stupid as to amuse not only me but His
Satanic Majesty But tell them to beware. Let them not try
to discover what I am, for it were better that they were never
born than to incur the wrath of the Joker. I don't think there
is any need of such a warning, for I feel sure the police
will always dodge me, as they have in the past. They are wise
and know how to keep away from all harm.
Undoubtedly, you FBI agents think of me as a most horrible
murderer, which I am, but I could be much worse if I wanted
to. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your organization
every night. At will I could slay thousands of your best citizens,
for I am in close relationship to the Angel of Death.
Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on next Tuesday
night, I am going to visit New Orleans again. In my infinite
mercy, I am going to make a proposition to you people. Here
it is:
I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils
in the nether regions that every agent shall be spared in
whose home or automobile jazz music is in full swing at the
time I have mentioned. If everyone has jazz going, well, then,
so much the better for you people. One thing is certain and
that is that some of those people who do not jazz it on Tuesday
night (if there be any) will get the axe.
Well, as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus,
and as it is about time that I leave your earthly home, I
will cease my discourse. Hoping that thou wilt remember this,
and that it may go well with thee, I have been, am and will
be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm
of fantasy.
The Joker.
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