Artemis Black

Potted History

Born into a wealthy Boston family of Italian Jews, Artemis Black lived a life of privilege. In his youth, Black left America and travelled to England where he studied psychology at Cambridge University where he was able to pursue his twin hobbies of the occult and being generally smarmy. A gifted psychologist and radical thinker, Black eschewed the praise and respect of his peers in favour of peddling sensational theories, and turning psychology from a stuffy academic pursuit into a part of pop culture.

He joined the FBI to use his formidable skills for the good of humanity, but the old ham was never able to resist the spotlight of publicity. He was already collecting his theories together into a book that would change the world.

In 1999 Black was placed in charge of the team hunting the serial killer Damian Snapes. After profiling Snapes, Black came up with the plan of getting an FBI agent to pose as one of Snapes's victims to flush the bugger out. Black maintained that Snapes's modus operandi meant that there was no danger to agent. In October 1999 Special Agent Carol Hunter allowed herself to be kidnapped by Snapes. However, Snapes inexplicably changed his behaviour at the last moment and Hunter was killed before the killer could be arrested.

Although upset for the loss, Black knew that he wasn't responsible for Hunter's death. However, he still accepted some time away from the FBI to gather his thoughts and his notes. In the Summer of 2000 Black's magnum opus - the critically lampooned but commercially successful - Victim Schmictim was published. Black returned to the FBI in September 2000, but agreed to a less public role. Senior Special Agent Artemis Black became the second-in-command of the mid-west evidence response team.

Recent Events

The following events have been highlighted as having special significance for Artemis since joining the mid-west evidence response team. Please see the Timeline to place these incidents in context.

26 September 2000

Artemis Black is assigned to the mid-west evidence response team in Wichita, Kansas. The first card from the Joker is received on this day, although Black does not realise it is intended for him at this stage.

2 October 2000

Black alienates Jane Munroe during a psychiatric session in which he said she "was asking" for her ordeal at the hands of Apache Joe. Black's trademark 'out-of-the-box' thinking doesn't impress fellow psychologist, Joshua Blackthorne, who considers him a quack. However, Black stands by his theories and his newly published book that expounds upon them. The populist work, Victim Schmictim, represents everything Blackthorne hates about popular psychology, but it is making Artemis Black a tidy profit.

Later in the day Black finds his mind dominated by the possessed spirit of Tic-Tac Loos (working through the boy, Chuck Renford). Artemis flees the Renford residence and falls into a grave where Tic-Tac's body is buried. The corpse begins to move and Artemis rapidly departs the scene. Later he blocks the entire incident from his mind and develops a pathological fear of the house, the boy and the garden.

4 October 2000

Artemis takes a few days leave on mental health grounds. However, during this time he gets a new perspective on things. Where before the occult was just a hobby and Artmies poo-pooed anyone who followed the supernatural, now be believes in absolutely anything.

12 October 2000

Artemis is involved in a massive gun-fight at the Texas 4 Coffee warehouse in the Pasadena dock-land. He is shot eighteen times in the chest with an Uzi but is fortunately saved from permanent harm by his flak-jacket. He is taken to hospital.

16 October 2000

Reece Romero the Inspection Division arrives in Brownsville to brief the team on case S89 (the Joker killings) and the murdered FBI agents who have appeared every time the team has received a card. She also shows them the letter from the Joker. Romero believes that the original card stating "the game has begun" was intended for Black. Artemis begins to look at his past closely, trying to see a connection. Investigations into the Axeman and Director Alfred Brickman lead Black to believe the Joker is some sort of supernatural entity that can possess other serial killers. He deduces this is why Snapes changed so markedly and killed Carol Hunter.

Artemis along with Nathan Harlow travel to Chicago and interview Snapes. He is not the man Artemis remembers from a year ago. He obviously knows something that he is not telling, and is evidently frightened about something. However, if Artemis is right in his conclusions then what is his connection with the Joker?

17 October 2000

Artemis and Nathan Harlow fly to New Orleans, ostensibly to begain case ES174. They agree to help the local FBI on the Joker case in the evening, and make sure the Joker doesn't make good his threat to murder various FBI agents.

18 October 2000

The Joker strikes murdering several agents, including Nathan Harlow, inside the FBI headquarters. Black flees in terror from the building before the Joker can get him. Shortly after these traumatic events, Black phones Jane Munroe with the news of Harlow's death and he retreats his hotel with a bottle of tranquilisers. Jane arrives later in the day and has a long talk with Black.

19 October 2000

Artemis encounters the ghost of Nathan Harlow finally cementing his belief that absolutely anything can happen in this world. The ghost of Harlow knows of the connection between Black and the Joker but can't remember what it is. Black determines to get to the bottom of this.

3 November 2000

At a meeting with Eisenstein in Wichita, the truth about the evidence response teams is revealed. Black is given the Celaeno Fragments - an occult book that may help the team in their further investigations. Later Black flies to Colorado City with Elise Steiger to investigate a further lead on the Apache Joe case (S73). On the return journey, the plane carrying the pair crashes into the Glass Mountains.

5 November 2000

A dishevelled Black and perky Steiger are rescued from the wilderness and returned to civilisation.

6 November 2000

Black travels to his mother's home in Boston to research more about his family's links with The Joker. He looks through his grandmother's diaries and discovers that he could well be the illegitimate grandson of Alfred Brickman. Oddly, Carol Hunter was the grand-daughter of Brickman by another woman, making Black and Carol first cousons.

While in Boston Artemis is invited to film a special for the Discovery Channel called Discovering Artemis Black. Wanting to publicise his new book and being a shameless old ham, Black jumps at the chance.

12 November 2000

Discovering Artemis Black is broadcase to a waiting nation. In the wake of the programme Black's book, Victim Schmictim, climbs to the top of the New York Times bestseller list.

13 November 2000

Artemis Black arrives in the heavon-on-earth that is Winterset, Iowa. He determines to one day retire to this place. The fact that Alfred Brickman is Artemis's grandfather is confirmed by the Archangel Mike.

15 November 2000

Artemis is involved in a protracted battle against brain-bug possessed membes of the Westwood Charity outside Winterset, Iowa. He is almost possessed in the fight but is kicked repeated in the face by Jane until he is saved. Black engages the cult leader, Quail, in a truly ineffective knife fight mainly because of the strange eldrich goo that is covering Quail's body. Quail escapes and the wounded Black goes to hospital.

16 November 2000

Artemis is discharged from hospital and travels to Grand Fawkes, North Dakota to particpate in case DVL017. He meets Wendell Wells for the first time.

20 November 2000

Along with the rest of the group, Artemis battles a werewolf in the wilds of North Dakota.

29 November 2000

Artemis meets the multiple Elijah Stones. Later he encounters a number of fire spirits on the island of Kahoolawe and watches Elise Steiger crushed to death by a rock slide caused by Wendell Wells.

30 November 2000

In an attempt to apprehend an increasingly erratic Wendell Wells, Artemis Black finds himself hanging from the ski of a helicopter. He later survives the helicopter crash that dumps him in the Pacific. Artemis makes sure that Wendell is removed from the team.

2 December 2000

Artemis is forced to flee a volcanic eruption on the island of Kahoolawe.

4 December 2000

Artemis informs the family of Elise Steiger that she has died. Elise's grandfather seems almost relieved by the news. Artemis makes a note of this but does nothing to investigate the situation.

7 December 2000

Artemis receives The Book of Entrance from Alan Hamblin III. It arrives in the post from England, and is delivered to a motel in Casper, Wyoming.

9 December 2000

Black is promoted to Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the mid-west evidence response team after Joshua Blackthorne is placed on long-term sick leave. Later in the day Alan Hamblin III dies in he snow outside a hotel in Casper, Wyoming while calling Black's name. Hamblin may have travelled all the way from England using magic to impart something of vital importance to Black, but the message was never delivered. Hamblin was carrying a vellum document that may be the original Book of Entrance.

Also by this date the Artemis Black marketing machine is in overdrive and the first of Artemis Black endorsed compilation CDs hits the market. Artemis Black's Summer Hits is now available in all good stores.

10 December 2000

Artemis is captured by Ukrainian Commandos at the Mary Estate in Casper, Wyoming and later engages in a fire-fight with them. He is shot forty times but nothing seems to be able to kill this man.

11 December 2000

Badly wounded in struggle with Oscar Ross and grenade attack by Ukrainian commandos. Calls in US Air Force from his hospital bed and must later defend that decision to Eisenstein and Colonel Hawthorne.

12 December 2000

Late in the evening he sends a hastily scrawled fax to the mid-west team, that could potentially bust the grey case files wide open. Also on this day, commercials for Artemis's Charity for the Rectally Challenged are broadcast on television - the cover girl of this particular scheme being Joshua Blackthorne.

14 December 2000

Artemis receives a royalty cheque for $5,000,000 for sales of Victim Schmictim. He is also named as producer of the new Dark Files TV series.

16 December 2000

Artemis is approached by Republican Senator Kelly of Iowa and agrees to be his running mate in the 2005 presidential elections.

19 December 2000

Artemis donates £1,000,000 to a random charity - the cynical would suggest he only did it for publicity purposes. Artemis receives $250,000 in campaign funding from Lockheeds Martin. As part of a publicity drive Artemis Black will begin gracing the tail-fin of domestic flights. Artemis retains command of the mid-west team in the evidence response reshuffle.

22 December 2000

Artemis meets Valerie Hudson in Casper. She reveals that Artemis is destined for great things in whichever role he chooses to walk (the politician or the FBI agent). Artemis learns that Hudson's psychic powers are at the expense of her health and that she needs a bone marrow transplant. Artemis is the perfect donor, and he agrees to help her as soon as she requires it. Artemis learns that Eisenstein has been promoted to Deputy Director. He raises Black to the new post of Assistant Deputy Director, Evidence Response. Artemis is now in charge of all the evidence response teams. He acts as a barrier between the agents and Eisenstein.

24 December 2000

Artemis is finally released from Casper and immediately flies to film the Artemis Black Christmas Special live. It features is special rendition of "I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas". He then attends the evidence response Christmas party in Beverly Hills dressed as Father Christmas and lavishes extravagant gifts on his agents.

26 December 2000

MacDonald Douglas promise Black $750,000 for his campaign funds. It is also revealed that Black's success and notoriety is such that his likeness will soon be gracing the 50¢ stamp in a series of great psychologists that includes Jung and Freud.

27 December 2000

Cronheim reveals that the firm of Strutt and Parker have been instructed to buy $2,000,000 worth of shares in Artemis's name. It is suspected this could be the first step of a long term plan to blackmail Artemis should he ever get into political office. Artemis also finds out that the Dark Files project has been greenlighted, and that he will be required to sit in on a few screen tests in the new year.

1 Jaunary 2001

Artemis is shot and very nearly killed in a battle with Apache Joe on the streets of Temple. Only the intervention of Jane Munroe saves his life. However, the team do succeed in finally bringing the killer down.

8 January 2001

Jane approaches Artemis expressing a desire to restart the psyche sessions they broke off back in October. Artemis obligues. Artemis also employs the superhuman accountant Mike Barnes to try and limit the potential damage of the Strutt and Parker business. Also, James Price of the FOX network begins work on his exposé of Artemis Black.

9 January 2001

Artemis is called away from the team to attended a rally in Atlanta. He smarms his way through the "Artemis Black Foundation for Sick Children and Orphans" with all the skill of a politician.

17 January 2001

Artemis is in Los Angeles sitting in on the screen tests for the Dark Files. Meanwhile, Benedict has a theory that Black's meteoric rise to mega-stardom has something to do with the Joker. He theorises that Black and the Joker are linked. He surmises that Alfred Brickman and the Joker were linked in much the same way. Brickman was very successful and then it all came crashing down (perhaps when he turned on the Joker). Benedict is suspicious that Black has never really moved against the Joker in any meaningful way - is Black complicit or complacent?

See Also:

• Artemis Black entry in the Who's Who section.
• Case S89 - the Joker killings.